There's a particular time in the early morning, that brings me discomfort.
It takes me back to a few places in my mind. This window of time is uncomfortable and silent and grey for me. It sits in the pit of my stomach and swirls around. It has this hazed out, auto-pilot, directionless feel to it.
I call it Disconnection.
Of course, now it visits me as a memory. But back then it was real - and I started feeling this when I was younger. I would wake up before everybody else in the house as a kid, and lay there in silence - in a kind of anxious anticipation at times. It was the time of the morning before Mum and Dad would get ready for work.
The silent space of freedom, before everybody started pottering around the house. I'd dare to dream, for a short while, about how my life might be in the future - and get completely carried away with it. But a little voice would always pull me back in line. Don't be silly. Stop daydreaming. And back came the disconnection.
This time of the morning, there was little time spent together. Little interaction or discussion. Far from the way we connected when we were camping down the coast and going for beach swims before breakfast. At home, my parents were always rushing and focused on one thing - adhering to someone else's rules. Time stolen by an unknown person. With everything and anything truly important to our family, pushed aside. To make a 'living'.
Working for The Man.
No room for dreams.
And then, just as history repeats itself, it became the time of the morning when I got ready for work. Woken up by an alarm. That same feeling in the pit of my stomach coming back. None of my actions truly playing out consciously or through choice. Just walking the treadmill of life. Clenched jaw. (Coffee makes it better though, right?)
Sure, things could be worse than having to wake to an alarm - but why should we live our one precious life limited, because it could be worse? It could also be better.
But then, who was I to challenge the status quo?
'What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?' - Alan Watts
Maybe it doesn't play out like this for everybody. Maybe some of you pinpointed your dreams and are living it. Maybe some of you are happy just the way you are...thank you very much! I do believe though, that there is a Universal Shift taking place around this very topic. I do believe that people are starting to allow themselves to believe there may be another way. Because...I do believe there is a very fine line between routine, and acceptance - that this is 'just what life is'.
Is it though?
If you had more choices around your life circumstances, would you take them - or choose what you're doing?
And, more importantly, why do most of us believe we have no choice?
“How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 6:30am by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so? ”- Charles Bukowski
Would I rather wake when the sun rises. Yes. Would I rather enjoy a little more time in my home, my nest, my safe space - during the day? Yes. Would I rather sit in airports waiting to explore another country, than sit in traffic to and from work? Yes. Would I rather spend 40 hours of my week doing what I love and being supported financially for it? Yes. Would I rather be a part of something bigger? Something that had a positive contribution to the healing of the world? YES!
My 'abundance shift' didn't happen all at once.
I suspect it started in those early mornings, when I was quite young. But what evolved from continually witnessing that which I did not want - was a vision. A dream and a goal; of what I did want.
Please don't kid yourself, though, that having and living dreams only happens to certain people. It took me a long time to believe that what I was dreaming, could actually be my reality. Please don't believe for one second that I haven't had (and do have!) my own negative self talk, debilitating fear of failure, inadequacies, insecurities and moments of wanting to give up (or even start!) Believe it or not, the fear of starting my Spirited Space business gripped me so tightly I couldn't talk about it without anxiety taking over. It almost never began. And it was my dream business! (I kept my Tarot Cards hidden away in a spare room for God's sake!)
We are not so different.
Do you know what this lower vibrational feeling in the past truly stemmed from though? Witnessing the motions of life. Fear of being forced to do something I didn't really choose to do. Wondering to myself - is this all there is? Yearning for freedom. Craving weekends. Public Holidays. Annual Leave. Sick days!
Did I have the answer to all of this, just yet? No. But I would ask myself what's worse - the feeling of fear of something new and different, or the feeling of disconnected unconscious living?!
So why was 'the norm' so acceptable? Why was everyone OK doing this? I'm not talking about just money. I'm talking about time. The one thing that I have to come to realise is so precious. The hours we hand over freely each week. Hours of our life. Hours that turn into weeks. Into months. Into years. Into our life! Did I have the answer to all of this, just yet? Still no. But it didn't stop me chasing it.
Images by Feather and Sage Portrait
It's really no wonder so many people dream of working for themselves. Yet most don't allow themselves to go there. They don't even want to think about their situation, see it, or look into it any further. People have actually stopped me from talking about this - saying it makes them feel depressed.
Depressed?!
This is not how we should be feeling about our lives!
Or about the lack of a life that we desire.
I wanted everyone to wake up! I wanted everyone to start questioning the norm. I wanted people to start shifting the paradigm within their minds. I wanted people to open up their eyes and see the truth. I wanted people to inform themselves. I wanted everyone to live consciously. To value their time! I wanted everyone to get out of this non-deserving, non-abundant, lack mindset they thought they were stuck in.
I wanted everyone to live their life on purpose.
Did I have the answer to all of this, yet?! Still no. But again, I kept searching for it.
As you can imagine, and might've felt yourself, this conversation triggers a lot for people. This kind of outlook is normally unwelcome. So, a little while back, I stopped trying to scream it from the rooftops and open up the topic in conversation - cos, I'm just a dreamer anyway you know. Doing your 'manifesting' stuff again Anita? Yer, ok. I've seen the rolled eyes, the side smiles. And that's cool. I'll just keep on dreaming over here and concentrate on how I live my life - the way I choose to.
And when I did this... the answers started showing up for me.
And the shift began to shake me even harder.
As with many manifestations of requests, and deliveries from the Universe, it appeared in much different form to what I'd expected. I heard someone speaking, and they said that they had found a way to earn a residual income. My ears pricked up. This meant being supported with an income, even when my little girl had been up all night and there's no way I could work that day? This meant being supported with an income, even when life happens. Because it does.
The person I was listening to had been struggling because their career was not sustainable - energy or time wise. So they had become business partners with a conscious company that was executing ethical business practices - i.e. seeking to benefit both human beings and the planet, through a number of different Philanthropic efforts. And their core mission was offering natural healing to people.
Natural healing!? That's my gig! That topic runs wild and deep within my veins! I wanted to know more. Every fibre of my being aligned with the energy around this. But there was one block, within myself, that I had to bust through first. This opportunity (and successful solution for them!) involved...
Network Marketing.
"Oh no! Not Network Marketing. I am not a salesperson. You got it wrong Universe!"
But what did Network Marketing even mean?
Wasn't there some Network Companies in the past that had ripped people off? Did this mean I had to direct sell? Did I have to hand over a whole lot of money? So I delved into this...deep! And what I discovered was that I was totally misinformed. So I started to learn more. And I started to think...
Were my blocks around whatever I thought Network Marketing was - or were my blocks around actually believing I could allow unlimited abundance into my life?
Mmmm...
'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?...' - Marianne Williamson
And as I opened up more and more, the next piece of the puzzle fell into my lap - the company that was offering this opportunity, focused on Earth as our Healer. It focused on individuals reconnecting with Mama Nature and themselves to become empowered. It focused on natural health. On alternative holistic wellness. It indirectly took power away from the big institutions that we believe control our lives. This, I could really relate to. This, I was already elbow deep in. This path, I was already halfway down!
How could I ignore this? I asked for an answer and the Universe delivered. (Trust her when she answers you!) And this is what led me to my deepen my connection with doTERRA. Continue reading here > > >
