Kids and Meditation:
Two words that create a visual of complete crystal catastrophe! (And yes, it has happened once or twice - gemstone carnage all over the room.) Little ones can't sit still at the best of times, little alone when they're Mama wants a quiet 10 to realign her Chakras! (Just 5 minutes then...?)
And wow; what an opening for an externalising of mini person emotions I created when we started sitting in ritual together. My little Empath has always felt it all.
And we’ve always encouraged her to express it. All.
I never wanted to fall into unconscious parenting whereby I would tell my children to stop crying. I feel it’s one of the most damaging things we can do, which later creates adults who are entirely disconnected from their feelings.
Plus, who am I to tell anyone how they're feeling at any point in time - and how they should express it?! As my children’s guide, it's important to me to show them healthy ways of expressing how they're feeling. A big part of why I created this special time in ritual.
Throat and Solar Plexus Chakra Tibetan Bowls
I know myself, whenever I feel I’m too busy for my spiritual practices or rituals, I suffer.
And a voice always pops in to say; "make time. Align your energy first. Centre yourself. You know this must be done to get back into flow. You need this and your family needs you to re-establish harmony and balance in yourself. And therefore your home."
(This is exactly why I created The Midwitch School. To show busy women and Mamas just how important it is to reconnect to yourself this way and HOW to create that time in our lives.)
I think when you're a Mama, you go one of two ways…
You either try to involve your child in everything you're doing;
or it just becomes so much harder, so you try to do the things that need doing, on your own...within every 5 minute pocket of time you can find during the day (or middle of night!)
Both can be extremely stressful!
But I really wanted to change this, I wanted to be more present for my HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)
Because I knew exactly what it was like to be one. I wanted to start supporting her in navigating this life as a high vibrational soul, so that things will be easier for her.
So my Meditation Altar, became 'our' Meditation Altar
We created in the South West Corner of our room, when Sage was two. I normally like to place this in the Eastern corner/side, where the sun rises, but it wasn't possible. Shortly after; our morning Meditation Practice began.
When Sage was 2, we would head straight here upon waking. Positioned in the South West Corner of our room - I normally like to place this in the Eastern corner/side, where the sun rises, but it wasn't possible.
First thing. No distractions. Alignment first. It's a priority.
And our ritual flowed like this:
1. Energy Cleanse
Starting with an Energy Cleanse, we clear our Aura and Energy Centres using a Selenite Spar. I prefer to use White Sage but I know little MIssy will become obsessed with the lighter if I do that! With the Selenite, the ultimate cleansing (and self cleansing) crystal, we float it up and around our body. I visualise it's purifying vibration clearing anything that is stuck in our Energy Field. Sage enjoys doing this to herself, and then me, after she's watched me do it. You can feel the clearing and lightness immediately and I can see Sage settle in straight after we do it.
2. Mala Beads
We're ready to get started! I pull out the first drawer and Sage gets out 2 pairs of Mala Beads, a green one and a black one. I let her choose which one she wants (giving children choice makes them feel empowered) and then she places it over her head and wears it.
I do the same, but I use these later for my Mantra Meditation. I have used these Mala Beads in my Meditation practice for years, and have been reciting the same Tibetan Mantra since I was in my early 20’s - “Om Mani Padme Hum”
OM purifies Ego
MA purifies jealousy
NI purifies passion
PAD purifies ignorance
ME purifies greed
HUM purifies hatred
I hold each bead individually, and recite the mantra at each one.
3. Essential Oils
I then put a drop of grounding or centering Essential Oil in my hands, rub them together and rub it up Sage's spine and on the bottom of her feet. This always brings her back to the present and grounds her roots to the Earth - and because I use this every morning, it has become her anchor to this practice.
I use Essential Oils energetically as well as for their physical attributes. Using them energetically, can be a way to anchor into something - it's like a programming through your senses. If you use a particular Essential Oil for a routine or ritual, it will bring you all the energetic qualities that that plant offers - but it also connects with your incredible Olfactory System to anchor you straight back to the vibe you had when you last used. In our case, it brings us back to the calm and peace we feel during every Ritual.
My final use of the oil is to take a big inhale as I cup my hands over my nose, breathing in and connecting with the life force and plant medicine of Mother Earth. Sometimes Sage will have a whiff too!
The most incredible thing I've noticed, by using oils in our practice, is that she never leaves the space. It literally roots her there. My instincts got me the first time we meditated together and I went to close the bedroom door, so that she couldn't escape and run a muck in the loungeroom! But something pulled me back; I reconsidered and thought it was a much better idea if she chose to sit with me, rather than force her too. And she has chosen to remain with me the whole time - every single time.
4. Singing Bowls
Then we have a play with my Tibetan Bowls. I have the Throat Chakra and the Solar Plexus Chakra Bowls and Sage loves to mimic the way I make sound with them. She picks up the stick and so carefully pulls it around the edge - there's no sound when she does it (yet!) but she doesn't care! She often wants to put crystals in the bowls when I'm playing them, and of course, at first, I thought "no, that's not what we do" - but I stopped myself and thought... maybe it is? I shifted my perspective and thought, maybe she knows those crystals need a good sound vibrational healing!
(Tip! The more I let go, forget the 'rules', surrender and let her guide things - with boundaries - the better it flows. And not just our Ritual - the entire day.)
5. Crystals
Then we get the other 2 drawers of crystals out. Sometimes we make a mandala together - Sage passes me the crystals and I place them in a pattern, or I hand her the crystals and she lines them up. Sometimes she just wants to place them in the Tibetan Bowls, and then take them out again - over and over. Who am I to judge? Maybe that's her version of Meditation!
When she was a baby I would often place crystals over her energy centres and so she must've grown quite used to this. She lays down sometimes and puts them along her torso, she then asks me to place one on her head. Sometimes she just lies there, letting the energy of the crystal do it's job, and sometimes she makes a game out of flipping it off her Third Eye and onto the ground. Whatever works for you little one.
Selenite Heart and Green Calcite - corresponding Essential Oils are Clary Sage and Geranium
6. Breathing Exercises
After I feel like she's truly grounded, we do some deep breathing. I've just started with 5 deep breaths. Sage copies me and I just love how children are born into the world breathing so perfectly - all the way down to their little belly, filling it up and then pushing it all out. Not just 'short-breathing' into the chest like we adults do, because have unlearnt how to breathe…
7. Om Chant
I started doing my own Om chanting (just 3 long Om's in a row) to keep me calm on the days where Sage had way too much energy during our practice. It would keep me centred and patient and helped me in allowing things to just organically unfold. But now she has been placing her own palms in front of her chest whilst she says 'Om'. And so I just join in with her!
Om is more than just a sound, it's frequency is sympathetic with the vibration of the Universe - immediately aligning us to Source Energy. It's the frequency of the energy that connects and joins all things together. What a simple way to connect our littlies to this on a daily basis. It's easy for them to say (sounds like 'aauummm') and we all know how amazing it feels when we tap into this energy - imagine how beautiful it feels for our little beings! Even if it's just once a day, what a powerful practice to start them with, to nurture that innate connection.
I love our antique Altar Cabinet that was gifted to me by a dear friend. In the past I've shared photos of my Altar set up and over time it was not uniquely mine anymore. Let's just say that anyone would have a hard time replicating/building this individual piece.
8. Mantra Meditation
I then start my daily Mantra Meditation, which is the repetition of 'Om Mani Padme Hum' at every individual bead on my Mala Beads, until I reach the end. As I said, this is a mediation I've been practicing for many years and I thought there was NO way I'd be able to do this with Sage around! In the past, I'd wait for her to be asleep.
But most times she's preoccupied with the crystals or the Buddha statue I have sitting at our Altar; saying 'Morning, Hello..." to him - but of course there are times when she wants to climb all over me, try and take the beads out of of my hands and demand "BOOBIE". My reaction to this everytime (with practice!) has been to just stop my Meditation, observe, take some deep breaths, allow the frustration to rise up and then release. She soon gets over it and goes back to doing her own thing.
9. Drawing
I have a sketch book and a few pencils in a little basket next to our Altar, in case she feels the need to express any energy in this way. She loves drawing but this has only lasted a couple of minutes with her so far. I feel like she may be drawn to this the older she gets. Right now though, she's expressing her creativity and energy, during our practice, through her words and physical senses when playing with our props.
Our Buddha on the right, wearing the Birthing Necklace my soul sisters made for me at my Blessingway - and our Umbilical Chord Dreamcatcher hanging on our Selenite Crystal on the left.
10. Oracle Cards
Towards the end of our practice, I shuffle a deck of Oracle Cards and we have a bit of a play with them. She loves watching me shuffle - "I do it, I do it!" So I give her a go. I chose the Robert Reeves Flower Therapy Oracle Cards because they have such a gentle energy and connect me straight to the pulse of Mother Nature when I read with them. It reminds me also of why I chose to study Flower Therapy Healing and how it opened so many doors for me, which have led me to further my connection with Mother Nature. Plus, Sage loves flowers and tells me the colour of every flower on every card.
And so, we already know that kids are magickal right? Like truly magickal - if we get out of the way and allow them to be. My beautiful friend Meagan once told me that her son picked the same card over 10 times in a row, on entirely different days. These kids KNOW, I tell you. This generation is tapped in and straight up connected! Give them some space and distance and nurturing to allow them to bloom in this way. They often know more than we do, in relation to Intuition, energy and the natural flow of things.
Of course then, you won't be surprised if I tell you that Sage has picked the same two cards for me - 4 days in a row. I'm talking shuffled several times each time, put back into the box, pulled out of the box, put back into the cabinet, back out of the cabinet - and even thrown around the room!
11. Solfeggio Frequencies / Binaural Beats
Basically, the modern version of repetitious beats to encourage particular brain activity, different to white or brown noise that I know a lot of parents use with their children. Much the same way that the beating of the drum during gatherings in ancient times would induce relaxation, the auditory beats can entrain the brain to different states and induce specific brainwaves - dependant on the frequency.
Deep sleep is promoted when listening to the Delta Frequency (0-1.4Hz) but we use the Theta Frequency (4-8Hz) for our practice which induces meditation, creativity and intuition strengthening. This is intertwined with a relaxing music track and Sage often hums along to it - so I assume she likes it! I have a Spotify playlist with the perfect frequencies for these rituals/ (DM me or email me and I can send it to you.)
To end our Meditation...
we pack everything away together and I always ask for a big hug. I cherish this time every morning, I know it will be something that I will forever hold dear to me and I hope it allows her the space and confidence to be who she authentically is, plus start to develop a practice to honour and reconnect with herself everyday.
There is no age that you're supposed to start doing anything. People thought we were crazy for reading to Sage at 1 month old, but I know she was absorbing certain things. Maybe not in the way we imagine or expect, but we could tell it made her calm and happy so we made it a regular practice. It's also just a nice way to connect in with each other's energy.
But to end this story, that sounds so surreal and seemingly perfect, I want to tell you that it isn't. I want to tell you about the first day we started - and about the importance of intention...
A story about starting this practice…
The first time I invited Sage to sit with me at our Altar was, seemingly, a disaster. It started out OK, but just after I introduced the crystals and Essential Oils, she exploded.
She was frustrated, angry and upset - over nothing in particular or in the present. She was lashing out and kicking the crystals, throwing the cards and even threw the Buddha. I thought "oh right, here we go - stupid idea Anita!" and I almost gave up.
But a voice dropped in saying that this is exactly what needed to happen. The high vibrational and healing nature of the crystals, Essential Oils and the space itself was allowing Sage to release and heal. It was providing such a high vibration that anything that didn't resonate with that frequency, within her, needed to come out. (That's how energy/vibrational healing works by the way.)
I reflected on the way women release energy in the form of tears when I facilitated circles. It was the same thing - just in a different expression.
I could literally see any fear, uncertainty or pain release from her mind, body and spirit. It only went on for about 5 minutes and after the tears stopped falling, she looked over to me where I had my arms outstretched ready to hold her. She came over and was calm. She felt lighter and seemed relieved. Wow how powerful (and necessary) this space was for her. She no longer needed to carry the weight of any of that!
The intention I set for our Ritual
Was to deepen our connection as Mother and Daughter, was for any healing and transformation that was needed, and was to take time during the day to connect to something larger than ourselves.
Intention is important and I set the tone for this from the very first day. I could have easily abandoned the idea of this practice after that first episode, but I realised it was just a clearing of energy blocks and I saw the importance of this practice even more so, after this. Especially after realigning with the intention.
So, in summary - I love holding this space for us, and for her. And that's all they need - you know? Just for you to hold the space. You are their Tour Guide for a moment in time in their lives - and most of them have been here many times before. They look up to us to learn the ways of the physical world, but energy wise - they got it figured out.